I need to get my ass in gear and go somewhere, but I dunno where. I'm stuck between my inability to plan shit and my strong desire to not plan shit (which is the reason for the innability). I like to fly by the seat of my pants and do without the plan.
You can't wait for things like this to fall into your lap, however.
On another note, I hate the drama system here. At least, I'm not really enjoying the class. I'm sure I would be more accustom to a proper drama school's way of teaching, but here I've been disoriented by the drastic differences between what I am used to and what is going on here.
Basically, they are not trained to be theatre practitioners here, they are trained to be critical thinkers and viewers of theatre. That is fine, but not what I want by any standard.
I'm used to being on the same page with my professors back home. I know them all by name and, in the classroom, they are my teacher, but there is still a sense of equality there. I see David, Carol, Kate, or any of the others and I say "Hello!" and they respond accordingly like an adult.
My professor here has said on the first day we met in the classroom.
"If you see Pablo or myself out on the street, don't be afraid to talk to us."
... I've seen her three (3) different times outside this classroom setting and waved and attempted conversation. She has, all three times, awkwardly spun around, feigned a smile, and nipped off with some guy whom I assume is her husband in tow at an alarmingly quick pace...
WTF is that? How dumb. How frustrating.
I am becoming more and more aware that I don't want to be in school anymore at all ever for at least a good.... forever. I have listened to songs with people that I remember from my childhood and the people there weren't even born yet. I feel dated and old, and I'm running around with this absolute sense of "I couldn't care less about any of this stuff."
I thought my film class would be rough, but so far I've had more fun writing one paragraph for my essay than I have trying to get this drama class tofether.
I am not about to give up on my theatrical goals, and this expereience will look great on my resume, and I will walk away form the UK with lots of friends, but I can't seem to shake the thought of why the hell did I decide to take these classes?
I suppose I couldn't have known, and these are the feelings have right night, subject to instantaNEOUS FLUCTUATIONS throughout the day, the week, the month, the year, and this post.
I dunno. Life is strange and I'm running off of 2 hours of sleep.
Needed to vent that frustration, I'll be back with some more happy shit come this time tomorrow!
I'll leave you with this gem.
|Photograph by Emily Rhodes|